Tuesday, May 18, 2010

My Pirate Adventure

Story written at home by Liam

One day I sailed upon the sea. The sparkly sun was rising above my shiny ship. I whipped my treasure map from my pocket. I looked at it. I accidentally ripped it. I crashed into a rock. I had to call for help. Still nobody came. So I dived into the rough sea to winch my boat off the rock. I used the hook on my hand to pull the boat. I found a treasure chest underwater. It had money in it. It had olden day money in it. There were lots of coins and notes and one dollars and two dollars. I took it to the museum. They put it on display.

5 comments:

  1. What an amazing stroy Liam and you wrote it at home! Ruby-May's mum

    ReplyDelete
  2. To Liam
    I like your story Liam because you used a lot of exciting describing words. I like the way you said how you dived under the water and found the treasure. You used awesome words to describe your story. I could picture your story in my head. Your story is a narrative story. It has a problem and a happy ending. Well done Liam.
    From Room 8.

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  3. WO Laim that WAS BRILENT!!! I like your storey becos it had lots of
    deyscribing words. Like tresher,aspeshley pirot.You probley rot more
    then room 8!!
    from Ruby-May.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Cool story Liam I liked it because the exciting words and the way that you had a piraet adventure.
    From Keziah

    ReplyDelete
  5. To Liam
    I like your story because you used exciting words. I like your story
    because it was a Narrative story.I could picture your story.
    From Camryn

    ReplyDelete